10 Questions To Ask a Lord of the Rings Fan

1.  Does Rivendell have a red light district?

2.  With Galadriel being thousands of years old, is she considered a cougar?

3.  Does Treebeard get morning wood?

4.  Would Gimli be able to choke down Coors Light or Natural Ice?

5.  Are the elves of Mirkwood actually just Middle Earth’s hippies?

6.  Who would win in one of those puffy-suit sumo wrestling matches, Peter Jackson or George Lucas?

7.  Does the Inn of the Prancing Pony have any glory holes?

8.  Do hobbits have a foot fetish?

9.  Did Radaghast the Brown end up in a nursing home?

10.  Did Gandalf trick the Fellowship into fleeing so he could defeat the Balrog himself, thereby collecting all of the EXP and instantly leveling up?


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